7 April
There is nothing better at the end of a long day than taking the time to sit for a while on top of the little dog!It turns out that she has a number of skills. First she is a crier! This can be irritating and I hope is attention seeking that she will grow out of. She is a barker, although her pathetic attempts at this activity make the people in the house laugh a lot. This morning she revealed that she can also howl. It turns out that if Sharon doesn’t get up immediately when the alarm goes off Garda thinks that howling will help. (Eventually it did – although it turns out that this, like her barking, is a bit below par in terms of performance)I’m a little put out because after my long walk Garda gets taken on her own walk.
This agitates me. I run around concerned that she won’t come back and when she does I am reminded that I should have used my Garda free time more wisely! She behaves as if she has been away for months rather than minutes and launches herself at my head! It’s a tough life!I’ve heard that over the years HRH the Queen has taken the time to write notes to people adopting the voice of her corgis. Imagine that! Something to aspire to. I bet they have classy letterhead and real notes delivered by their own staff. I’m just a social media dog – the lowest rung on the canine literary ladder. Which is why when night comes I’ll need to take some more time for reflection sitting on Garda’s head.That’s all for now
Brescia
7 May
24 hours in Bexley.I am exhausted. Last night my people arrived home and couldn’t get in the gate because the lock had given up the ghost!An emergency call to Justine who climbed the fence in the dark, did the most important thing and gave us both a pat and then, in the dark disassembled the gate to let everyone in. It was dodgy security overnight but at least we got fed! This morning after the 6 am Bunnings run for gate repair material Garda’s projects became apparent.
I always think it’s best to have one project and see it through. She is filled with the enthusiasm of youth and instead has two projects happening at once. The hole to China is turning into a swimming pool. On the other side of the driveway she is working on an installation for a geography field trip. Think a billabong with trenches. Perhaps she’s thinking not geography but HSIE more broadly and the trenches at Gallipoli.
Any way they went to work eventually with a new coded lock for the gate- which really does need repairing now. The new gate code is an abbreviated version of Buggered Up Lock! Let’s see how long this lasts!Then this evening in was the neighbours – again! There was lots of yelling and screaming – again. The people used to be quite concerned about the volume and length of these regular arguments but not so much any more. They gave up worrying the night the boy yelled at his mother: “I can’t go to rehab, I have to get my HSC!” The scribe thinks that bodes well for October.I have my own aspirations this evening! They’re suggesting I might become a sommelier! There was some mismatching tonight of a very good wine with average takeaway! I feel I could offer guidance in this area. Let’s stay with the very good wines and maybe I can manage chief taster as well.It’s been a long 24 hours and I have left the most perturbing till last.
Apparently Garda has a “gay tale” and yes this really is a thing! I gather it’s a tail with a kink. – a happy tail. Also apparently, you can train the gay tail away. There are far to many analogies that can be drawn here that all end up being more than unpleasant! We accept Garda as she is with her kinky gay tail.I might point out that I do not have a gay tail and prefer mildly gay tales on a Friday evening! Enjoy the weeks end!
Brescia
9 May
Good morning from Bexley.They are having a bit of an argument here about what precise days three years ago they were in Brescia, Desenzano and on Lake Garda. Who cares? I think it simply means that Garda and I should have huge name day celebrations.Here I am, a simply spendid dog, birthed in Inverell and living in Bexley named for a United Nations Town on the other side of the world. And Garda, for reasons understood only by the humans, is named after an entire Lake.
Apparently three years ago, they were on a crazy adventure and everyone wondered why these particular places made the “must do” list for a first trip to Italy. The scribe still has tears in her eyes when she talks about Brescia – that would be the place – not me – I have never made her cry. She went to a little inconsequential church and stood in front of the body of St Angela Merici, patron saint of girls education. Two little old ladies were cleaning the church – nothing ever changes. They had not a word of English and my scribe is linguistically challenged with anything beyond English. Apparently, being in this place was a deeply reflective moment – a moment in time that the scribe carries in her heart as the collision of history, story, adventure, faith and being present to a reality that caught her completely by surprise.
You might remember that she doesn’t do ‘dead things’ and she is a bit cyncial about the bodies of saints that the Church has managed to catalogue and procure over thousands of years. But this moment and the realisation that she really was on the other side of the world looking at the body of a visionary women she had first heard of has a ten year old was enough to bring tears of calm quiet joy. It must have been a magical moment because I carry the name of that place and I am always a little annoyed when people think I am named for furniture and don’t realise the momentous weight my name carries for me and for my owners.
After Brescia they went to Desenzano and a statue of St Angela dominating the piazza in that beautiful town.Then to a little town on Lake Garda where Joanne used her school girl German to order food, remembering high school classes with Sr Anne and Sheryl. There were Nordic walkers there too – another bizarre reality in the strange world we live in.While I am certianly the most beautiful dog here in Bexley and beyond, apparently Lake Garda is, I am told, the most beautiful place with postcard views in every direction all day and night.
So here we are today thinking of the places we are named for, three years on, when travel in the future seems a remote possibility. Since that trip the piazza in Brescia has seen itself, for a while, converted into a hospital to deal with the devestation of Covid. Presumably Angela still keeps watch over Desenzano. I am sure Lake Garda is still stunning. The world changes. The world remains the same. Life brings tears and joy in every moment. Here in Bexley, on Mothers day, Garda and I have high hopes for Name day celebrations befitting the stories that graced us with these names.Love Brescia
24 June
Good afternoon from Bexley. It’s been very tiring here. I have been a learner dog and there is much to report. I’m not sure what marking is except that it is very boring because it does not involve me. It does involve lots of paper, an iPad, pens of various colours, coffee, a lot of sighing and few bad words. Just when I think it is done there are sheets of numbers (some of them are very low), stapling and some weird version of sorting. I’m not looking forward to the next round of that! In the process of marking I have learned to jump up on the bench and demand a pat. This is easy to orchestrate because I jump up on the scribe’s right hand side,shove my head under her armpit and jerk until she drops her pen and gives me her full attention.
The little dog cant jump onto things except onto the bed in the middle of the night. Night after night there was screaming at her which disturbed my sleep. The last two nights I notice she has only dwelt on the bed perimeter and there has been no screaming. She too is a learner. She has this strange diner ritual. She only has a little bowl and it isn’t enough for her. She gets dinner in two serves and she can absolutely count to two. The humans are frightened to move to a bigger bowl for fear she will still think she is entitled to two servings. We have both learned about football and something called the golden point.
A number of weeks ago now the Sharks won a football game. This resulted in raucous singing of something called “up, up Cronulla”. We were so impressed we leapt and jumped on furniture and the humans got up to dance with us. It is now our theme song and when visitors come we perform on cue when the music starts even if there isn’t any football. Everyone thinks we are very clever.Garda has still much to learn.
A new toy arrived in the yard and she cried when she could not reach it to play with it. I am smart enough to know that you have to wait for the very slim chance that the rainbow lorikeet flies out of the tree and lands on the lawn and even then you would have to catch it. This hasn’t happened yet but I live in hope. Brainless Garda leapt at the tree a lot and then cried because she couldn’t jump ten metres.she’s not going to be selected for any Olympic team.I have to go. I am sure I heard the word walk! Love Brescia
27 June
Good morning from lockdown in Bexley. There are a few things of note this morning. There is a limited amount of toilet paper here and it has been put out of reach. This is of concern to us because a roll of toilet paper is an excellent toy, can be eaten if we are hungry and seems to get an excessive response from the humans which is quite amusing to us.
I fear that Garda is about to hurt herself. She really wants to play with the rainbow lorikeets. This morning, they are in a tree near the front fence and this has resulted in Garda falling off the driveway in a most undignified manner. Those of you who have seen the driveway here will understand why falling off the driveway could be extremely hazardous. I am a wise dog and I can manage to keep an eye on the lorikeets in the hope that they land at my feet while supervising Garda’s attempts to injure herself.
It’s a hard life.We are somewhat concerned. The humans have started following Border Collies: Australia on facebook. They seem endlessly amused by this site and are telling people that it provides amusement and puppy spam. We are put out. We provide all the amusement and puppy spam that is needed in Bexley.Secretly I think they are checking that our cuteness levels and skills levels are meeting the necessary benchmarks. Do we both lie on our backs with out feet in the air in an unseemly manner on a regular basis? YesDo we dig out water bowls? – Yes – In fact Garda carries them away. Do we dig holes? This is a Garda specialty? If we are given carrots do we save bits to play with tossing them in the air and catching them before they hit the ground? Absolutely – in fact we like to catch each other’s carrots. Are we beautiful? This is a singular endeavor. I am beautiful – Garda not so much. Have we dragged the sprinkler through the doggie door? Well no! This is not our fault. If the humans provided us with a doggie door we would be happy to oblige. Still these activities seem common.
We have reached our own benchmarks. I like nothing better than an empty takeaway coffee cup and I am hoping lockdown does not limit my supply. We both like fish food except that it doesn’t go very far. We can get it from under the aquarium and we make a mess and get a little sustenance along the way. We both like a cup of tea or the remnants and we need to teach the humans to make us our own cups of tea. It is tedious to have to climb onto the table and drink the remains of the tea and the problem would be solved if we had our own cups. Then there is Garda – its always Garda. She thinks everyone loves her and greeted an assortment of tradies last week excessive leaping. And yesterday the human tripped over on the walk and I am sure it was Garda’s fault.
At night time – like in the middle of the night – Garda likes to go down to what I call the barking area. It does not make the humans here happy. I am not a barker. I am an observer and I only bark in cases of looming emergency and when the garbage truck comes, and the recycling, and the man who will come around at 10 pm tonight to go through all the recycling bins in the street looking for bottles.We have a project we are working on together. We like socks. Socks that we can get out of the laundry hamper, socks we can steal out of the laundry basket before the contents are hung our to dry and socks we can get out of the sock draw. Socks are our go to ‘thing’. I have been explaining to Garda that it is important to only take one sock at a time and never a pair! That would be greedy. There is some conversation here about whether it is permissible to leave lockdown to purchase socks. We’re happy that they want to ensure our supply. In case they can’t get out to purchase socks Catherine we are expecting you to deliver. Love Brescia
11 July
Good morning from Bexley.In honour of the Barty Party and grace and skill and focus the people here have decided that it is a day for compliments and we are the recipients of the love and accolades. Compliments have been coming from all quarters for the last twenty -four hours. It’s wonderful to be appreciated.The scribe announced that I had deteriorated. I am not sure what this means but it is a big word so it must be good. This was admiration because I lead the campaign to eat the bed; a systematic procedure with the remains of Mystic’s bed. It is almost all gone now. There was raucous behaviour with Garda’s compliments. With the volume reserved for football cheering I heard one human tell her that she was bad. She ate the corner of the good rug! To be fair she ate it in the same room that one of the people was having a Zoom meeting for work in. I ask you, who was really at fault here? Personally, I think it’s the room.
This was also the site for the demise of the last charger! When the scribe saw the rug she thought she would embellish the concept of bad and she announced to Garda that she is the ‘Bad Seed’. Apparently, ‘The Bad Seed’ is a 1950’s black and white film that scared the scribe witless in her early teens. It tells the story of an evil child who kills her nearest and dearest. This does seem a stretch even for Garda. She hasn’t come anywhere close to killing me – yet.In any case, the scribe is apparently easily frightened by films. I am told that once she screamed like the banshee in a packed theatre and Garda hasn’t caused that much impact – yet. The cause of the scribe’s undignified behaviour was Airport ’75. She fell asleep and woke to find the plane filling the entire screen and flying straight towards her. I suppose she could be forgiven for over-reacting. I should warn Garda not to approach her when she is asleep.
I need to finish my post for today. They are coming out to inspect and compliment our efforts in the yard. Our chewed efforts this morning include an empty yogurt container from the kitchen bin, a termite box from the garden, several buckets of different sizes, Veronica’s bottles from the recycling bin, oven mitts kidnapped from the kitchen and a pair of track pants from the laundry basket. We have done well. Can’t wait to hear what they say.They are checking out if Petbarn has click and collect so we must be getting actual rewards for our efforts.Love to Maria who wanted to know what was happening here. Now you know.Love Brescia
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